Beyond the black turtleneck- decoding Steve Jobs through psychoanalysis

Steve Jobs, a man who needs no introduction, was also a great specimen, for his quirky behavioral traits. I read a book called Biography of Steve Jobs, and I feel that keeping aside his successful career, there is so much more to him, and at that, I'd like to share my take-

Let me first give you a brief introduction to his childhood- his biological parents left him in an orphanage as they weren't ready to bear the responsibility of a child in their early twenties.

Steve had a very emotionally numb childhood, which worried the couple that adopted him. He was interested in only one thing from the very start- technology. It was this one focus mind that, later in his life, helped him make life-altering career decisions. He was not close to his adoptive parents who took care of sending him to Reed College, even though they couldn't afford it. Steve dropped out of college after the first semester because college was too 'restricted ' and didn't allow him to spend his time as he liked.

With his friend Wozniak, he started Apple in his garage. But, while technically a genius he was quite 'unbearable to be around- he didn't care for 'showers'. Simply put, he stank!

Steve also liked experimenting with extreme diets, like eating just carrots and honey for the whole week. He said he didn't need carbs and could sustain himself on just fruits.

This man never took no for an answer. Steve always wanted things his way and somehow always convinced everyone around, that his way was the right one. He was also brutally blunt, criticizing the ideas his colleagues gave, rejecting month-long prototypes just because they weren't 'beautiful' or 'curvaceous' enough! He was power-hungry and wanted to keep all decisions of control to himself. 

By the time Apple became successful, Steve had soured his relationship with his girlfriend, whom he got pregnant. He bluntly denied marrying her or engaging in any father duties. He said to her - "I want nothing to do with the child." Ironically, this happened at the same age his parents had abandoned him. Probably, that is why he had such a hard time connecting with anyone. The only person he loved was himself.

When he got fired for pissing off the board, he made a new company NeXT Inc and Pixar. During this time, he got seriously involved with a woman called Lauren Powell, whom he married. His first words when he saw his second child were-

It's almost like a switch gets flipped inside of you and you feel a whole new range of feelings that you never thought you'd have.

After his child was born, Jobs no longer thought technology was the revolution he needed to be part of. When asked what changed, he replied-

 "Having children changes your view on things. We're born, we die. Can technology change that?"

Steve Jobs, the insensitive man, was no longer. He was not an immature child who couldn't listen to others. He trusted people more. His colleagues reported how much he had changed when he rejoined Apple. 

He subconsciously numbed himself emotionally till he decided to take the leap of faith and marry Lauren. Being with his daughter made him more sensitive to others. In a way, she gave him a new life, one in which other peoples' feelings and opinions mattered. While being abandoned by his own parents is something he endured and himself perpetrated, he reconnected with his first child Lisa, trying to occasionally be a part of her life later on. 

No matter how cold or indifferent a person is, they just need to meet the right person to touch their heart and transform them. In our own lives, we meet people who come across as rude, or uninterested. But we are not aware of their backstory. Somehow, because of his exceptional career, people seemed to ignore his arrogance and attitude that would make a random person seem obnoxious. And just because they haven't found a company like Apple yet, isn't reason enough for us to judge them, or think low of them because they’re different. 

Unconventional isn't necessarily a bad thing. And people-pleasing is not always a good thing either. I just realised that no matter how well Jobs did in his career, his personal life was dead for long. He was hated a lot, even fired from the company he established due to his horrible people skills. But, in the end, he was happy.  However he was, he was true to himself. He didn't want to be liked by anyone. He was authentic to himself and he meant it when he said-

Your time is too limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. 

If you learn just one thing from this blog, let it be this- 

You have absolutely zero control over how people perceive you or if they like you, so at least make yourself a person you like. Do the things you like, without the pressure of 'others' opinions'. This way, no matter what they think of you, at least you will like yourself, at least you will do what you enjoy.

Harshita