woMEN's day

Men have a thousand roles to play. From the day they are born, it is their duty to take care of the girls around them—sisters, mothers, friends. They are expected to exude a permanent role as the 'protector.'

But sometimes, when we easily emasculate a few jobs or tasks that we only want our brothers, boyfriends, and fathers to do, where does our feminism go? Why, then, do we not ask to be treated equally? Why do men not have the right to question us about this rampant hypocrisy? Why do they not, like us, complain about the tasks we just expect them to do because they are men?

Why will only the guy in the group carry the shopping bags for all the girls? Where does the line get drawn? And who decides this distinction between the roles we are expected to do and what feminism truly encompasses?

Recently, I realized something sad—men do not know what they like.They know what they have to do. They know what they should do. But when it comes to what they want, what makes them truly happy, they often have no answer.

Why?

Because Indian fathers never ask their sons, "Beta, birthday pe kya loge?"This question is, more often than not, reserved for the girls of the house.

I have a hypothesis: men are becoming more masculine with time, and women are also becoming more masculine. The problem is not with either of these choices but with the definition of masculinity itself.

I believe a man is at his most masculine when he is gentle with his sister, friend, and mother. When he can speak about what he is feeling, what he wants, and what truly makes him happy.

On this Women's Day, I want to reach out to all the lovely men in our lives—our brothers, fathers, and friends—who make us feel safe and stable so we can be our soft, nurturing selves without worrying about the so-called expected duties that men naturally fulfill.

Let us wish them as well, because if it were not for them, we would not be able to be the happy, truly feminine women that we are.

Let us take special care of the men—asking them what they want to eat, where they want to go, and what gifts they would like. In taking care of us, they have surrendered their own wishes just to fulfill their duties toward us. They have sacrificed everything they like just to protect us and give us everything we want.

Let us give them what they deserve, what they want, and what makes them happy—because without us, they might never find out.

Harshita