This is probably a different blog, in how it has come to fruition. I had my readers give me their views, some of which have been anonymously cited.
Every now and then, we fail to understand what the opposite gender is trying to say, or what their actions mean. Through this blog, I hope to address exactly that:
From all the girls to all the boys,
We want you to know that we are also human like you, but maybe not as privileged as you in terms of the things that come as for granted to you might not come for us. We have to work twice as hard to get the same pay or recognition as you. We are not undermining your efforts here, but simply requesting for our rights to be given to us. We want your respect, before anything else. We want to be treated as your equals, be it in logical reasoning olympiads, business, or firefighting. We want no separate treatment just because we menstruate five days a week. We just want your slight chivalry on those days.
Females are very complex beings. We act out of emotion and run out of logic. So when something we do doesn't make sense to you, question your emotional quotient, not our logic.
Even the finest details matter to us. We just want you to listen and understand. Know that when we shout at you or get mad at you, it is not just due to recent events, it is an accumulation of small incidences taking place over a period of time. The recent event is simply a trigger that explodes out the suppressed emotions If we share a problem with you, we DO NOT WANT you to give us the solution unless we ask.
We believe in 'pyar dosti hai' more than 'kal ho na ho': i.e, we want to stay only friends with you, unless and until we clearly state otherwise.
And the guys who propose to their friends, or start having feelings for their girl best friends- DO NOT PROPOSE! Trust me, you will regret it. It not only makes current things awkward, but if you fall apart, you lose a really good friend. You can not make a girl like you if she already doesn't. Yes, we are indecisive, sometimes dissatisfied, and change our decisions every now and then, but in matters of the heart, we are more than clear if we like someone. If a girl has suddenly stopped talking to you or talks to you lesser than usual, it's because she knows that you are trying to be more than just friends but she doesn't and she doesn't know how to tell you this so she acts as if she's not interested in talking to you. She does like you a lot but just as a Friend.
To girls,
You need to understand that the stereotypes that are often linked with our gender are not true, mental health for men is frequently ignored and the solution given is to 'be strong or masculine ' when in reality mental breakdowns for men are more common and usually not treated in the same way as their counterpart gender. men are taught to be emotionally strong and tough from the start, we’re expected to not lose our shit when something really bad happens, as a result of this we’re more inexpressive whatever the situation is, so please don’t take our inexpressiveness as disinterest.
We will suffer in silence, not speak a word to anybody about what we’ve been going through fight our demons on a daily basis. we face rejections a lot. we cope with it by being more ‘manly’ or masculine, by inflating our egos to the size of a dump truck. I’m not amazed by the statistic that suicide occurs 1.8 times more in males than in females globally. Hence, we believe we should be treated as humans who hurt and cope the same way as women do.
I am a man. I feel no shame in asking for help.
We also love when girls buy us flowers. We love a little consideration, and gestures that make us feel special. We have no problem making the first move, but we would appreciate it wholeheartedly if a girl comes up to us, We too have a soft side, and more girls need to respect that (most do, but some don’t, which kinda hurts). Also, as far as the whole “liking a girl” is concerned, not all men fall for looks. Not every guy wants to get physical with you. Not every guy will hurt you.
If a boy is unable to express what the girl really means to him then a girl needs to understand that she should never demean herself because it hurts us more than you. When a girl understands what's her real importance, how someone really feels for her and cares for her then everything is going to be fine as there's gonna be no communication gap in between. Sometimes it happens when a girl really doesn't know why someone would like to just be with them. Not all of us are looking for romantic relationships, some are just wanting to be close friends with you.
We actually are firm with the girls we care about. We stay strong for them. We offer solutions to your problems because we hate to see you in distress, or worse- not trying to come out of your rut.
A real man's love is everything but conditional.
Until next time,
love
harshita